Troubling News

When I saw Elizabeth making haste out of her inn I stopped her.  Jane had sent a letter saying Lydia was nowhere to be found, but is known to be with Wickham.  I am angry at myself and believe it is my fault this happened.  Only if I would have exposed Wickham.  Elizabeth told me she had to leave right away and I understood completely.

The Jealous One

I am actually getting tired of Miss Bingley's feeling towards me.  My love for Elizabeth is to strong to even think about another women.  This love creates and intense jealousy towards Elizabeth.  She even told Elizabeth I said she was the most beautiful women I know.  Miss Bingley needs to understand that we will never be anything.

Visitation

The following day I introduced my sister Georgiana to Elizabeth at the inn the were staying in.  Bingley had also tagged along with us.  Even though I had not seen her for much time, visiting Elizabeth was delightful.  Before I left I invited the Gardiners and Elizabeth to have dinner with us.  They accepted the invitation and I was on my way.

An Unexpected Surprise

While in Pemberly I ran into Elizabeth as she was with the Gardiners.  I wanted to show Elizabeth a different side of me so I was extremely polite to her and her family.  It was obvious that I had impressed her family by my manners and this different side of me.  I then asked her is she wanted to meet my lovely sister and she told me she would like to.  I am excited to see Elizabeth and spend more time with her.

A Failed Attempt

I was alone with Elizabeth and still did not know what to say as I planned on proposing to her.  My speech before I asked her to marry me was not the best, yet I still knew she would say yes to me.  I was wrong about her wanting to marry me.  She said when we first met she knew that if this day came she would never marry me.  Although I am sad that she said no, I am still in love with her.

The Big Question

There is only one thing to do now.  I need to propose to Elizabeth as soon as possible.  Since I was able to be with her in Hunsford I can tell that she will say yes to my proposal.  I do not know what to say to her yet, but whatever I say will be spectacular.  Next time we are alone I will go through with my big plan.

The Decision

I have decided to go to Hunsford to see her.  My feelings are stronger than they have ever been for her.  I need to interact with her to see if she feels the same way about me.  It is really important that Elizabeth notices the feelings I have for her.  The way I converse with women is legendary and I have a strong feeling that she will feel the same as i do.

Unexplainable Feelings

I dont know why I am unable to control how I feel about Elizabeth.  Everywhere I go I think about her beauty and wonder why I feel this way.  My mind tells me there is nothing that she can give me and no reason for me to want to be with her.  But my heart tells me I should be with her and only her.  I do not know what I should do at this point.